Entries Tagged as ‘Job Search’

December 20, 2007

I’m so sick of applying for jobs. I give you: The Ideal Resume

Baron S. Buttkisser

1200 N. Richpeople Way
Chicago, IL 60610
Phone: 312.555.2888
E-mail: bsbuttkisser@suckup.com
Objective: To bullshit my way into a job I can barely tolerate but will make me lots of money.
Summary of Qualifications:

Experienced ass-kisser
Effective multi-tasker
Demonstrated bullshit ability
Creative, analicious problem-solver
Excellent oral and written fellatio skills

Work Experience:
6/2005-11/2007: Assholes R Us, Chicago, IL
Senior Swarmy [...]